oooooohh aaaaahhh

So I just got home from the hookah bar, but before I went in my house I looked up. The stars seemed to be brighter than usual. They have a light blue shimmery color to them. They seem to be blinking and flickering. Some of them even look like they're moving. But one in particular southeast of the Orion's Belt there was a really big star I think I could have mistaken for a plane or copter. Although it was moving much it was flickering the most and was the brightest of all the stars in the sky tonight.

For a quick second I thought they might be aliens or spaceships, but that's just silly. 8P

Celibrity Crush

So there's this guy, and I think he's amazing. He's the vocalist of this one band. He has an awesome style, a bit western glam with a touch of avant garde. His voice is like that of an angel, and is a lyrical genious. He's got the cutest dance moves. Amazing as he is, he doesn't shout it out to the world. And for his name, well it's Brandon Flowers.








I hope to meet him someday. Not in the crazy fan kind of way. But maybe just randomly run into him, at a public place and be like, "Hey, you're Brandon Flowers. I love your music." And we'll have a short convo about how amazing we both are, and how great our outfits look. And then I could say I met a true artist. :]

Like thaaaaat'll ever happen, haha.

The Fame!

I completely agree with Chris Crocker on this one. I have a friend who's obsessed with being famous and it bugs the hell out of me. He wants to be famous just to be famous. I always ask him why he desperately yearns fame, and he always responds with the same question, "Don't you wanna be famous?" I personally don't want to be famous. I would like to have a lot of friends and be known, but not famous.

PS - We were only at the party for a total of 2 hours.

Gawd i feel disgusting just typing this out.

Last night I went to a party, got drunk, and I think I molested quite a few people. I don't
remember everything exactly how it went through, but remember more like bits and pieces of it.

It only took like 3 or 4 beers for me to get tipsy. Then I took maybe 2 or 3 shots of Captain Morgan and probably another beer and I was drunk. It's been so long since I've drank, I'm a lightweight again.

As I socialized with different persons and took some pictures with some girls I felt like I was having the time of my life. Martin [the guy who took us to the party] is gay and I think had a thing for me, nothing too serious but it made me horny. Not sure yet if I'm gay or not, or maybe even bi, I just went along with it. It started with bites on the cheek and then eventually full blown making out. When things got too hot to handle we had to ditch the party. Apparently from what I remember one of Martin's friends say, "People are staring" but what the fuck did I care, I was drunk. Then in the car on the way home, I behaved more sexually than I ever have before. I remember Martin being in the front seat reaching back, I think caressing my face as I sucked on his finger, then I reached forward and he sucked mine, but it was only for a few seconds that it lasted. Then he eventually reached down to my pants. The girl next to me kept slapping his hand away, but there was no stopping him. I for some reason thought the girl next to me might have been jealous I proceeded to kiss her neck and suck her ear. I think I even reached for a breast at one point but my hand was rejected with a big slap. Not really thinking clearly and caught in the moment I unzipped my pants as Martin was still caressing my dick. I pulled my penis out as Martin proceeded to stroke it. It felt great. I was still sucking that girl's ear at this point. It was like the start of what could have been a threesome. And I think Aaron saw this, he was either disgusted, embarrassed, or just starstruck. That's when Martin laughing this whole time in that giggle voice of his retreated his hand, and i put my penis back in my pants. I think that's when we arrived at Aaron's house. And this is just the beginning.

I was too drunk to even walk straight. I walked into Aaron's house, straight to his bedroom trying to avoid his family seeing the drunk mess I was. I laid on the floor, hornier than ever. Aaron walked in and he lay beside me. We whispered about gawd knows what, for quite a bit. But I do remember whispering to him, "I wish Martin was here so I could fuck him in the ass." I'm not sure wether Aaron was sober or not, but since we were laying beside each other, I think I began to caress his body with mine. My hand somehow ended up in his pants, I fingered him for a while and I'm not sure if we kissed or not. And omg, he has a fuzzy ass LMAO. I think he told me he wanted me to fuck him, but I don't think I even had the energy to do so. I think I said we should cuddle LOL. I knocked out on his floor and I woke up a quarter before six. Surprisingly he was already awake, watching TV with his sister. I think we talked for a bit before driving home. I took a short nap and went to work. My head was throbbing the whole morning, and I was nauseas too. And I could not get the stench of his ass off of my fingers. That motherfucker has got to douche, because I washed my hands at least 30 times, and used so much hand sanitizer my hands began to sting, and my fingers still stank. His asshole haunted my hand the whole morning.

Well I'm supposed to return some money I borrowed from him right now. So I hope things aren't too awkward.

PS - We were only at the party for a total of 2 hours.

Mixed feelings and Martinis

So I've currently been obsessed with the original NY clubkids. I've almost finished reading Party Monster, [previously published as Disco Bloodbath] which I have about 30 or less pages to read before I find out how it all ends. I'm excited, lol. I also went to a rave with CLUBKIDS as the theme. I've started looking for the movie, Party Monster and Shockumentary so I can purchase them and add them to my collection. I even started club promoting, well not officially, just giving out flyers and spreading the word of an upcoming event. I even got one of my best friends a go go dancing job at the event.

Since I stopped going to school, my days have been pretty empty and boring. For example: yesterday all I did was go to Starbucks, give my friend a ride to school, go online in the library, go to a pawn shop where I purchased a few CDs for 50 cents a piece and my friend sold a very old ring, went to Taco Bell and ate a burrito as I had a lovely conversation about Bill Clinton's curved penis with my friends, went to BestBuy & Barnes n Nobles in search of Party Monster and/or Shockumentary, dropped off my friend at work, picked up another friend at a different school, went to the movies and saw Wolverine, went to my house so my mom could apologize to my friend for calling her a slut, then dropped both my friends off at one of their houses, then came home, jerked off, and read a big chunk of Party Monster before hitting the hay. Wow! Now that I think about it, my day was more productive than I thought, lol. YAY me.

Every time I think about the future, nothing pops into my head. I have no idea where my life is head towards. Hopefully it's success. Well of course I'm going to be successful, but how? that's the real question. Ooooooooohhh, I just realized I'm dressed quite mod. Never thought I'd be able to pull it off, but I do it quite nicely. Now back to my future.... Time will only tell.

PS - The title makes absolutely no sense, [I think it might be a song].

Have you ever felt something so hot, it was cold?

For the past few days I've lived without my laptop. It wasn't until now that I realized how dependent I was on it. Without it I pretty much feel alone. Not because it was my electronic best friend, but because it was my gateway to the internet. Which is where i conversed with so many people, on myspace, facebook, and stickam. It even kept me entertained with videos from youtube, and gossip from stickydrama and perez. And now the latest craze, Twitter. Since my cell phone service doesn't offer a way to update my twitter through texts like every other cell phone service does, through my laptop was the only way I could update it. Until the geed squad at BestBuy say it's all fixed and good as new I'll occasionally, but not frequently, check updates on my step dad's desktop. It'll probably be like once every one or two days.

Since I don't have my laptop, I sort of got back in touch with reality and myself outside the internet world. I even started waking up in the mornings instead of the early afternoons. Today I went out for a jog, which actually turned out to be a walk/jog/walk/sprint/walk. It felt great. I also listened to my zune, which I don't seem to use too much. Then I took a shower in which I thought a lot. I actually thought this whole blog in the shower. Of course it sounded better in the shower, it usually always sounds better before it's typed up.

And about the title; when I turned on the shower the water was so hot, it was cold. For some reason it stuck in my mind. And now I think I'll twitter it before I get offline.

random and feelin irritated/tired/sick

So for the past few days, i've been feeling a real sore, and I'm not sure why. Especially my buttcheeks, but I think it could be the studded belt i wore all day and was sitting on for the part of the day. I've also had a head ache since yesterday. I haven't been eating right either. There's a smell in my room of mayo and cheese and it's bugging the hell out of me.

Last night while I slept I got bit by a mosquito twice on my arm. So all day I've been itchy on my arm and I it's been irritating me all day. I'm doing laundry at the moment and it's already midnight and I have school in the morning which I really don't feel like going.

Yesterday I went out to get some chinese carry out when a scary thing happened. I was driving home and there was an ambulance behind me with it's sirens on and everything so I started to stop but it kept coming behind me and I got way nervous, I had no idea what to do, cuz I thought it was going to go around me, but my dumbass forgot that I was supposed to stop on the right and outter part of the street. I was stopping in the middle of the street to my left. But I quickly pulled to the left as soon as I could and the ambulance dashed right beside me. There was an accident only a block down and I swear I was thinking maybe I could in trouble for having stopping in the middle of the street instead of the outside of it. And before I started to drive forward once the ambulance had stopped me, I saw a cop that was at the stoplight which I swear I thought I was going to get pulled over for doing such a dumbass thing, but luckily I didn't. I felt so scared cuz before I pulled to the right the ambulance was going so fast right behind me I thought it was gonna crash into me. :S

I got so fuckin high last night..

Last night I got so fuckin high, I scared myself a little. It was the first time I smoked a joint.

My friends and I had gone to the hookah bar [a new place called Casa Blanca (Eddy's Pizza can suck it.)] It was real fun cuz it was a bigger darker place with loud music and huge plasma tvs showing Arabian channels. At one point there was a bellydancer going around the place showing off her moves. The people there were way chill. We met some guys who wanted to party with us if we got some single ladies to tag along, too bad we failed at that, so we didn't get shitfaced last night. It was almost 2am but we didn't want to end the night, we wanted to do something after. Luckily my friend's friend had a stash of bomb pot in his truck. So we went to a dark and deserted park by my other friend's house to smoke the joint. As I took a few hits from the joint, I could feel nothing but the strong taste of burning marijuana in my throat. It wasn't real appealing. Once the joint was all smoked out my friends told me to sit on this small pole that had a platform on it which little kids use to spin each other. As my friend was spinning me round and round I was holding on for my life. I could swear I could feel the whole world turning. I didn't know whether I was upside down or right side up, spinning horizontally or vertically. I was a bit scared but I could not help but to laugh hysterically.

Once the playground toy stopped spinning, I tried standing up. It was the hardest thing in the world to do. Everything kept spinning round and round as if I was on a merry-go-round going 5 times the regular speed. I tried holding on to my friends but at the same time I didn't because it felt weird to touch them. I could feel my hands and arms feel numb. When I would try and hold on to them, I couldn't really feel them, I remember blurting out at least 2 or 3 times, "I wanna hold you but I cant, cuz you feel fake, like a teddy-bear." I also remember my friends feeling so perplexed as to what the fuck was wrong with me. To try and stop the world from spinning around me, I sat down and then layed down on the pavement. I felt apeace. But as I got up things got blurry again.

I knew I was in no condition to drive back home, but I had no choice. Once I got in to my car with my friend Cashawna in the passenger seat beside me, I calmed myself down and finally tried to focus. It was hard to focus when all I wanted to do was to sit back and relax. I began to drive towards Cashawna's house when I got more and more paranoid, nervous, and scared. I wanted to be home so bad so I could just crash, but I still had to drive a whole 8 miles back home. As I drove I couldnt really feel my foot on the pedal, the only way I knew I was going at a set speed limit was if I kept looking back at my speedometer. I could feel a tingly sensation throughout my body the whole way back home. My entire body had almost gone completely numb, which scared me even more. I could barely feel the steering wheel so it was a challenge to keep the car straight. As I drove I remember talking to myself and gasping for air constantly. I knew Cashawna was scared, I could hear it in her tone that she was a bit nervous. But as the awesome friend that she is, she kept her composure, and gave me positive feedback on my driving. The moral support helped out a lot.

Once I dropped her off at her house I took a deep breath and focused. As I drove I could feel everything in the world going in slow motion. My mind raced with ideas faster than before. I was desperate to go home, but it was hard to focus cuz so many things distracted me. All my senses were immensly hihgtened. I could hear every little sound louder than before, the wind coming from my window sounded like a tornado. Every bump I drove over felt like a hill. I was being super cautious and tried to make sure I made every stoplight correctly. But it was hard because when I put my foot on my brakes it felt as if I was stopping for at least 2 minutes. It felt like I was waiting an eternity everytime I was stopped by a red light. Because everything was moving so slowly I could swear it was as if I was just walking. I noticed I would speed a little as if try to make things go faster, but I quickly quit that to not attract any cops. The worst part was that I felt lost, because I would randomly forget what street I was on and which way I was going cuz everything seemed so unfamiliar.

I was finally a few blocks from my house, and I felt a bit relieved. I still didn't lose any focus. I wanted to make it all the way home before I took a breather. When I was finally home, I was still a bit paranoid. I kept thinking, what if my stepdad see's me high? is he waiting for me? why are the outside lights on? do i smell like pot? are my eyes dialated? am i walking straight? is my sober act believable? luckily everyone was dead asleep, so I went into my room with no problem. Before I hit the hay I took off all my clothes except for my underwear cuz they were bugging me. I still had that tingly sensation throughout all my body. I finally got to crash

Today I woke up late and was 45 minutes late for work. My boss didnt mind too much because it wasnt too busy and I had worked a double shift yesterday [and I had actually covered her shift for her] so she let it slide. Through the whole day I could not do anything at a fast pace everything I did was so calm and I was not rushing at all. When I was busy I wanted to hurry to take orders at some tables but instead of dashing to the tables like I usually would, I calmly walked to the tables.

FUCK MY LIFE / LITTLE ATTENTION WHORE!

I meant to write about this yesterday, but I lost track of time.

So yesterday morning I went to work as usual, when the worst case scenario happened in front of EVERYONE. It was a horrific scene. I had to carry some food out to a table, but before I did, another waitress trayed the food for me while I retrieved some hot syrup from the cook. When I was ready the other waitress handed me the tray which i placed on my left hand, and I had the hot syrup on my right hand. As I began to walk towards the table I had to serve the food to, I could feel the tray start to wobble a little. Instead of stopping I proceeded. I knew I had to hurry, cuz my left hand was weak and couldn't hold as much weight as my right hand could. And everything happened in slowmotion. A plate with a waffle on it slipped off of the tray to my right, and I sorta tried to catch it with my right hand even though I was carrying hot syrup with it. But before I could even do that I could feel the tray teeter-toter to the left as soon as the waffle fell. I could feel the rest of the plates fall off the opposite end. It happened so slowly that I felt helpless not being able to stop it. You could hear the plates clash, break, and chizzle echo through the whole restaurant. It was so embarrasing I let myself drop to my knees with the trays still in my hand, that I could not look up. Before I could see the entire mess I had created, I could already feel the angryfilled gaze from my boss. I know she didn't show her anger, because she's not an angry person. But she is so stingy and cheap, she can't bare the thought of a plate breaking or food falling on the floor, because she's the one who has to end up paying for it. It's the same for even the smallest of things. But as I tried collecting my thoughts and getting back to my senses, I was scurrying trying the get the scene cleaned up before any more customers could witness the crime scene. Once it was cleaned up, I had no choice but to get back to work and I was still a little jittery but it quickly went away in only a few minutes. As I thought of what just had happened, I felt real guilty. Because whitin the past week or two I would randomly imagine myself dropping a tray full of food in the middle of the restaurant during rush hour, causing a huge scene as everyone stopped to look and stare at the horrific mess I had just created. I guess I sorta jinxed myself, or maybe actually did it unconsciously just for the attention. But I can't say for sure why I continued to walk with a wobbly tray, when I knew something terrible was probable to happen. Hopefully this'll be the last time this ever happens to me again.

TAXES

I'll soon be doing taxes, but I don't know why. I don't understand how the whole income tax system works. So I just learned how I'm supposed to claim my tips at work [i'm a waiter]. The more I claim, the more gets taken out of my check. But I get the money back when I do my taxes. I'm lead to believe that the money that gets taken out goes to the government to be spread into different government programs to help the people and communities out. But if I get the money back, where is the money coming from when i get it back? If the money was given out the people, then how am I possibly getting it back? I mean I'm really confused. I think I'm going to google this shit. no joke.

Photoshopt CS3!!!

My stepbrother just told me that he bought Photoshop CS3 [the pirate version of course] and he's gonna hook it up and give me a copy. =D I can't wait to start messing around on it and start editing my pix. :] Although I already have photoshop 7, I don't fuckin care, cuz CS3 is the shit. Coincidentally before my bro told me the news, I was messing around on the version of photshop I have right now. And this is what I created. :]

John Galliano is GOD!

It's finally gonna be Srping of '09 which means i'll be seeing pieces of this season on celebrities from my favorite high fashion designers. I prefers Spring and Summer over Fall and Winter lines. My alltime favorite designer is John Galliano. He is so creative and innovative, he'll never give you a boring garment. His men's S/S09 line is AMAZING! I wish i could purchase at least one item i saw on the runway, but whatever i choose, wont be less than $300 :(, but i'm pretty sure it's worth the money. If i were to choose, it'd be the blue vest on the second model down the runway, those yellow pants on the fifth model, that white vest with the yellow trimming [and i've lost count by now], those black pants that the model with the black reptile leather jacket was wearing, the purple pinstripe pants, ALL the underwear ;), and even the pink leggings a couple of the models wore at the end. And more than a few blazers were hot, but i'd never wear a blazer; they make me look shorter than i already am. This line was more than phenomenal, cuz he definintely went auvant garde on all the traditional and cultural clothes in their futuristic form.




Spring and Summer fashion of '09 is gonna be killer.

Lady Gaga's new Music Video

OMFG!! I ♥ Lady Gaga!!!

Her new music video is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!! When i first bought her album, i heard "Love Game" for the first time, and i fell in love with it. It was my fave song. I used to always sing the chorus loud as hell when i bumped to her album in my car, even when my car was packed with my friends. Now there's a music video for the song, even better, the song is definitely on my top 10 list :D

Update on my new year's resolution

Fkn whack! i was good for all of January, then coming in to February, everything went downhill. I haven't eaten any pie or anything, but i have eaten a lot of McD's i knew i would never last without McD's sweet tea, cuz it's fkn bombtastic. Then last sunday was my neice's first bday, and i had cake and jell-O, i had no shame, cuz it was delicious.

My Boss Is So Fucking Racist

So today she gives me some kind of Asian desert, and tells me how it's supposedly very healthy and is eaten a lot in southeastern Asia. Then she busts out with,

"Those damn Asians, with their healthy eating, vegetables and soy, so thin and young looking."

and I'm like

"whaaaaaaaaat?"

And she responds,

"Yeah, for Asians everything is healthy."

I could not believe she was saying that, so i responded,

"Aren't you Asian?"

[she's actually full Cambodian] And she goes,

"Yeah, but I don't eat like that"

I was quite perplexed from the conversation we had just had. Yesterday she commented on a group of people that came in to eat at my work and knowing they're all black, she says,

"They're all just happy because their president won."

I responded saying,

"Don't you mean our president?"

I don't think she caught my response cuz it was pretty busy that day. Earlier this week, she also commented saying,

"White people and their damn bread."

I was like,

"What about it?"

She says,

"It's so important to them"

I didn't respond, but what she was talking about was the dinner rolls we serve with every meal. Her comments always catch me off guard and are always so blunt I can't believe she saying the things she says because she has a minor in psychology. i would think knowing so much about psychology, you wouldn't be so ignorant or at least so judgmental. What really throws me off, is that she admits being a racist, not that she hates other races but the fact that her comments and perspective on certain things are racist. I know this has nothing to do with me, but it was on my mind and I had to tell someone or at least write about it, and by write i mean blog.

51 Random Things I found In My Room

Hookah

I finally tried Hookah, and all I can say i recommend everyone to try it. It's the best. At first I had no idea how to smoke it, better yet, how it worked. So I asked my friend,

"Do you just smoke it like a cigarette?"

I don't quite remember what response was, but I did smoke it as if it were a cigarette, but with a longer take in of the smoke. I the smoke sit in my lungs for a few seconds when finally releasing it to create a cloud of white magical smoke. With that one hit, I felt lightheaded, and it was Grrrrreeeat! lol After every other puff, i could feel the sweet dazed sensation go away. The best part about it, is that it was mango flavored, and to my surprise it really did taste like mango. :] My other friends recommend I taste bubblegum and mocha vanilla frappuccino :] and I definetly will.

College

So my first week of Community College is over. I thought it would have been a little more weird, especially not knowing anyone, but it wasn't so bad. I met new people faster than I thought I would. The campus seems to keep growing more and more everyday. I still can't find where the restrooms are at. Today I finally found the cafeteria which is quite nice, because it feels like a very big cafe and it's big and airy. I haven't eaten there yet, but I will soon. So far I like my classes, which I hope I do for the rest of the semester. Now I finally have homework, so I think I better do that ASAP, because procrastination is my worst enemy. :]

Raves

So I went to my first official rave a few hours ago, and it was amazing. I loved every bit of it. I got to dance way crazy without seeming to be crazy. I also made a beaded bracelet, well actually my friend Cashawna made me one. I met a few ravers. I got spotted. Most important of all, I had loads of fun. I wasn't sure what except when i first walked through the entrance of the venue, but it didn't really matter, because I knew I belonged there. I felt so in place when I was finally inside. Everyone was so nice and friendly. I thought it would be weird to dance surrounded by strangers, but it really wasn't. I think raves are gonna be something I'll be attending more often. I'm so happy I went. PLUR to all who read this :]

New Year's Resolutions for 2009

• Get fit [six pack, and some guns]
• Get awesome grades [straight As]
• Get off my lazy-ass and do shit
• Eat 80% less junk food [no more soda

Hi, my name is..

Hi, my name is Jonathan Hernandez.

This is officially my first blog. I'd like to start this blog off by introducing myself. The name's Jonathan, I'm 18, and I live in Phoenix, Arizona. I decided to start blogging, because I like journaling, but I don't like to write much; I prefer typing. In that case I made an account on Blogger, so that I could share my thoughts, feelings, experiences, memories, and whatever else that is worth sharing, to the world. Mostly I really want to blog, so that one day, far into the future I could visit this web page and read all the things I used to write about and have fond journaled memories of my past.

:]